Something happened today that has never happened to me. I totally bombed a workout. Now I have had good days and bad days in the gym, but usually on the 3-2-1-GO! I can get my act together and do a decent job- and by decent, I mean for me. I am no way implying I perform at some elite level. Today, I fell so short of my expectations that I have to admit… it hurt.
As many of you know, it is week three of the CrossFit Open. The workout for week three is a repeat of a workout from last year so that you can measure your improvement over the past year. The workout just happened to be one that I declared last year I would never do again: a 12:00 AMRAP of 150 wall balls, 90 double-unders, and 30 muscle-ups. Wall balls are my least favorite movement in CrossFit. I am not particularly good at them. My efficiency stinks. And I just downright hate them. You can only imagine how excited I was to hear this week’s workout.
Last year on this workout, I got my first muscle-up in a workout. For those not familiar with CrossFit, getting a muscle-up, even one, is a pretty big deal. Even though I was excited about that, I still hated the workout and only have horrible memories of it. Are you starting to get a feel for my mindset?
This morning I went to the gym, determined to get the workout over with. I was almost having an anxiety attack over the thought of doing 150 wall balls again. I thought for sure I would get through the wall balls and double-unders. My only concern was whether I would have the stamina to get more than one muscle-up and beat my score from last year. We CrossFitters love to beat ourselves in a former workout!
I was going to do the workout with the 8:30 class, but my back has been acting up this week and didn’t feel right so I didn’t. After coaching the 9:30 class, I decided to go for it. I had already fueled in preparation for it. I had rolled-out and stretched earlier. Let’s just get this done!
Surprisingly, the wall balls went well. I finished them in just about the same time as last year. On to the double-unders…. SCREEEEECH! I could not get my double-unders! I have never had trouble with double-unders, but I darn sure did on this workout. Needless to say, I never made it through the double-unders to get to the muscle-ups.
I could give a million excuses as to why I bombed this workout. But what it really boils down to is that mentally I had already lost before I began. Never have I done this to myself. I usually love to take on a challenge. You want to talk about being disappointed with yourself.
After the dust settled and my cussing stopped, Chris looked at me and said, “You know you have to do this again.” Huh? You mean, I have to do 150 more wall balls within days of already having done 150 wall balls? Yep. And he’s right.
I know I am better than what I scored on this workout. I know that all the negativity I had built-up since the workout was announced definitely played a part in my failure. I can’t be happy without giving it another shot.
Looking at Facebook after the workout, my friend and awesome CrossFitter, Glissel Soliz, just happened to have this as her status:
The more you complain, speak negatively about something, say the words ‘Can’t’ or ‘Hate’, “it’s impossible” or anything along those lines, you’re adding more negative energy into your life and more than likely you will fail. Change your mindset, people!
A new mindset is just what I need! So I am typing this out while shivering violently from the ice bath I just took to aid recovery. And I am going to post this story online in order to hold myself accountable and make myself do this workout again. I dreaded those wall balls so much, but when I really think about it, they weren’t THAT bad. See! A new mindset!
Maybe I won’t get to those muscle-ups again… but at least I can say that I tried! You can look for me on the leaderboard to see how this exciting and riveting story concludes.
What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, right?